"So This Is Love"
Melody Roberts couldn't believe nine years had passed. She was out of medical school and now a doctor in the area of Pediatrics at Boston Children's Hospital Cancer unit. It had been a long road with many stumbling blocks along the way. But she had stuck true to her vow to never love again after Slade Wilson. Oh! there had been many to tried to make her break that vow...but she never did. She had come close, but always stopped herself when the memories of Slade. She walked up to the hospital and went in speaking to those she passed on the way to the fourth floor which was the unit she worked at. Today they were getting a new doctor who specialize in childhood cancer. Everyone was so excited when they got the news that he would be starting this morning. He and his wife had just relocated to Boston from Illinois. She smiled knowing that she would have another fellow Illinois to chat with being from Chicago herself. She had heard that his wife was also a doctor...a surgeon. Everyone was anxious to meet them since their names had been withheld to make it all a real surprise. There was even going to be a welcome reception later that evening to welcome them both to the hospital community.
She had to admit that she too was a bit anxious to find out who this exceptional doctor was who was making every brow rise in anticipation. She changed into her medical jacket and joined the other doctors who were waiting for the first meeting with this doctor. Her mind drifted off to when she and Slade often talked about going into medical practice together. She was going to heal children and he was going to find a cure for what caused cancer children. She shook her head, bringing her back to reality. She was so naive! She looked down at her watch...she had meetings that would be starting soon...she hoped they would arrive soon. It was silly to follow the crowd just to get a peek at them...she would probably see them around anyway. Then she heard the claps and looked up. Her eyes shot wide open. It couldn't be...but it was. There stood Slade Wilson...no! Dr. Slade Wilson in all his glory. And beside him stood the most gorgeous brunette...tall, a bit thin, with a wonderful smile...and then there was Slade...his arm around her waist, smiling.....he looked happy, and as handsome as ever...even more handsome than she remembered. It had been nine years since she'd seen him. He just walked away from her, saying he had met someone else, and he didn't love her anymore. She felt the tears sting her eyes as she backed out from among the crowd and walked silently away, whispering under her breath...." Of all the hospitals in the world...why did he have to walk into mine."
More to come!
As Melody slips away from the crowd, the hurts fills her heart and mind once again. He didn't want to love her...but he did love someone, and she was standing there beside him in the place she once wanted to be. Why didn't he love her...that's a question she still wanted an answer to, but knew she never would !
Lets listen to the song that speaks the hurt in her heart
Click Video to listen!!
Melody was surprised when she was called into her directors office the next day for a private meeting. She hoped he hadn't seen her slip away from the crowd when the introductions were being made for Slade and his wife. As she opened the door and stepped inside she was surprised to see no one there, not even her director. He was probably called away suddenly, and would return shortly, she though as she sat down in the chair in front of his desk. She hoped it wouldn't be to long, she had patients to check on this morning. She heard the door when it opened and stood up.
" Dr. Evans I hope this won't take long I have patients to see in a few."
"It won't, the voice said. It was a woman's voice, not Dr. Evans. causing her to turn completely. There stood Slade Wilson's wife. Melody's eyes widened in surprise.
"I thought Dr. Evans wold be here, she said swallowing hard...he asked to see me."
The beautiful brunette walked up close to her. Melody could see why Slade was so fascinated with her...she was stunning. Long black hair..striking blue eyes and flawless clear skin.
"I'm afraid I asked him to call you here...I didn't think you would come if you knew it was me, she said walking around and taking a seat at Dr. Evans desk.
Melody sat down slowly in the chair facing her.
" I'm Dr. Gina Wilson, Slade's wife...but then you already know that." She smiled at Melody
Melody sat there not knowing what to say. Why did she want to see her of all people. Did she know about her pass relationship with her now husband? Her mind filled with thoughts as they sat looking at each other. Melody still could see her thin frame through her medical coat...and her eyes were drawn too...what was it about her that bothered her as she looked at her?
"Slade told me all about you, and what happened between the two of you...and how much he hurt you all those years ago by walking away."
Melody sat frozen in her seat. She had just answered all the questions her mind was thinking without batting an eye!
"So, why would you want to see me then, knowing the past history between us?"
Melody watched as she got up slowly and walked from behind the desk to where she was. She sat down on the desk edge, eyes lowered. Then she looked directly into Melody's.
"I looked long and hard for you Melody, she said with a smile. Slade never knew I was searching...I never told him. When I finally found you here, I knew it was the hospital to come to."
"But why would you want to find me and come here, Melody asked...now standing up facing her...why?"
Melody watched her move from the desk.
"Because I'm dying, and I want you to be there for Slade and my daughter ."
As Melody stands looking at Gina Wilson she totally shocked by her reply. Slade had walked away from her years ago, but now he would be the one left alone and hurting. She had often wished for him to feel the hurt she felt all those years ago, but now if she could she would spare him of it...but unfortunately it was out of her hands to stop what was going to happen. She thinks of the song she played over and over again "All At Once" Now Slade would be having those all at once feeling for his soon to be gone wife, and she didn't wish those feelings on anyone !
Listen to this song that speaks of how she feeling about Slade after hearing this devastating news from his wife!
Episode 3 The Plea!
Melody couldn't believe what she had just heard. She was asking her to watch over Slade and her daughter.
"I'm sorry, she said , looking at Slade's wife Gina. You don't know what you're asking...I"
"I know its a lot, she looked at Melody, you're still hurting even after all these years...but then I see something else when I look into your eyes. I see love...you still love him...and I'm counting on that love to be there when I'm not."
"I can't, Melody said flatly. She walked away and paced around the room finally coming back facing Gina. Maybe you have more time then you think.....maybe"
Gina reached out and grabbed Melody's hand. Melody could feel the weakness in her grip.
"Less then a month, she said softly to Melody, her eyes tearing up. I've been blessed with a good life..a wonderful man and a precious daughter." She moved away but Melody could see her wiping the tears from her eyes. I met Slade in Medical school in Philadelphia , from the moment I saw him I knew we'd end up together but he was so distant, always stayed to himself...I knew it had to be because of a woman ...but I finally broke him down...she smiled...and we were married six months later."
Melody couldn't help but smile from her words.
"Does he know?"
"Yes, she nodded...but he refuses to talk about it...doesn't want to even mention making arrangements or anything for when the time comes. He's a doctor, but when it comes to me and my illness, he's just a husband who doesn't want his wife to leave him."
She moved towards Melody, then reached out and took both of Melody's hands into hers.
"I don't know how much longer I can hold on...she forced a smile. But I won't ...I can't go until you promise to look after them....please Melody...please say you will.....I've come so far to find you." Her eyes looked deep into Melody's
Melody's heart sank inside of her. Then she heard the words coming softly from her own lips. She heard herself whisper back...YES!"
More to come.....
As Melody stands close to Gina...their hands locked together, and she see's the pain in Gina's eyes..she feels the tears flow from her own eyes as well. Her heart ached for Gina...but she couldn't believe she had said yes to her plea, after all Slade had done to her. He had hurt her so bad before, but she had survived and made something out of her life now. She had a career that she loved and was happy to some point without a man in her life. Now Gina wanted her to let Slade back into her life...and her heart. It had taken her years to forget him...or at least to push him to the back corners of her mind...now it was all going to be brought back in a instant, and it hurt so bad to think of it all again and forgive him. Gina said she saw love in her eyes...how could she when she no longer loved Slade, but still carried so much anger in her heart for him. Why did she say that to her about seeing love in her eyes, when all she could remember was that it hurt so bad when he left her.
Lets listen to a song about hurt...it speaks the unspoken words in Melody's heart!
Melody still couldn't believe the events of the day. Talking with Gina Wilson stayed on her mind. She was actually dying. She turned over in her bed. Sleep eluded her. She kept hearing her say that she saw in her eyes that she still loved Slade. She got up and walked to the kitchen, glancing at the clock as she went. It was 3:30. She had to be to work at 9am. She knew she needed to sleep but she just couldn't. Fixing herself a warm cup of milk she walked to the closet and looked under all the boxes that were there. She pulled out a box and opened it. it was full of letters...love letters she had written to Slade years ago, but never gave to him. It was just her way of dealing with her feelings when she was young. The letters started when she was young...and continues until her last year in high school . She even dated them. She searched through the box until she found the one she was looking for. Pulling it out she walked back to the sofa and sat down, sipping the hot milk, then finally
setting it aside on the coffee table to cool as she took the letter out of its envelope. It was the day of her graduation from high school...the day she and Slade had decided to run off and get married. But instead he ran off and left her without an explanation at all...leaving her at the bus station, suitcase in hand waiting for him. Her parents never liked Slade, they thought he was to reckless and wild...riding in fast cars, drinking beer and staying out late at night with his buddies. Her mother said he was just a boy, not a man, and in the end he would break her heart. And he did! She unfolded the letter. But there was another Slade, the boy she remembered from first grade...the boy who's memories compelled her to write those letters over the years leading up to her confession of love for him. The letters she now had boxes of . She held the letter tightly in her hands, as she wiped a tear that fell from her eyes, reliving those words that then came from her heart.
"When did I first realize that I loved you, I,m not really sure. Oh, I'm sure I love you now, but there are so many memories to look back on. Was it the first time I saw you standing in the rain with your football jacket all dripping wet as you covered a little lost child with it. Or was it the time we went dancing and you danced so much that you threw your back out just because I want to dance. It's odd but I have no memory of not loving you. Even as children, you were always there to make me laugh. Like when I had my tonsils taken out and you made funny faces behind Dr. Quacks back...waddling like a duck because his name was Dr. Quack. You really looked like a duck too. Or was it when we both got lost at the zoo on my eight grade trip, because I wanted to go buy souvenirs, and talked you into going with my school class. You were in high school and going along with eight graders to the zoo was something your friends poked fun at you about.. I was so scared, fighting back tears, trying to be so cool. It was you who held my hand as we walked around until we found a policeman who took us to my group. When did I first love you Slade. Why I've loved you from the beginning. The first day I stepped off the school bus in first grade when I was only six, and I saw all those strange kids standing there. You walked up and said "Hi" and reached over and took my hand. Somehow you knew I was afraid, and you said to me as we walked to the school. "It's nice, you'll like it here. You were eight then and you didn't seem to be frightened of my thick glasses that the other kids were making fun of. You just smiled and said..."Don't be afraid...I'll take care of you, I'm Slade." And you always have. That's when I knew I wanted you beside me for the rest of my life...and that love could only be a word that described YOU!"
She folded the letter and laid it on the table, beside the other papers she had there, as more tears started to fall. Stretching out on the sofa she finally closed her eyes cherishing memories that were no more! Gina was right . She did still love him...but she could no longer trust him with her heart.
As Melody relives wonderful moments...lets relive them with her through the words she once wrote for Slade on graduation night all those years ago with this song.... "Memories" By Barbara Streisand
Unexpected News !
Melody was glad her schedule was light that morning , it gave her time to catch up on some paper work before rounds. As she enter the hospital she noticed that people were looking downcast and sad as she passed on her way to her office. She got a strange feeling as she approached her office door. There stood her boss, as if he was waiting for her.
"Is something wrong, she questioned, looking around at him and everyone standing so still. What's happened?"
"I'm afraid Dr. Slade Wilson won't be here for a while to start his duties as Chief of staff for the cancer research department.." he lowered his face, then took a deep breath and looked straight up into her eyes. His wife Gina passed away last night."
Melody gasped, her hand covering her mouth."
"He'll be gone for ten days for the funeral, and then he has to make arrangements for a sitter for his young daughter Sophia. She's only five and can't be left alone.. The family wants her body to be brought back to France for the burial in the family plot in Paris. That's all I know for now...but he will be coming back here to take the position as chief of the cancer unit, he assured me." And with those words he walked away, everyone walked away sadly except her. She was still in shock.
Once inside her office she collapsed in her chair. It was so not expected. Gina had said she had at least a month. But then Melody knew that with cancer the end could come unexpectedly. It must have taken all the strength she had to come and talk to her yesterday, and she must have felt that she had accomplished what she need to before her death. She expected her to look after Slade and her daughter Sophia .
It was a real surprise when her mother came to visit the following week. Melody was happy to see her, but leery about telling her about Slade being at the same hospital as she was. Their families had grown up together and her and Slade's mother were friends, although they differed on opinions about Slade. His mom thought she was just what Slade needed to shape him into a man......while her's felt just the opposite. But she decided she had to tell her anyway.
"Sounds like he's been through the ringer. I'm so sorry to hear about his wife...she sounds like she was a really good influence on Slade."
"Meaning that I wasn't mother, right?" Melody could feel all the old feeling rising again between her and her mother as it always did when Slade was in the picture.
"That wasn't what I meant dear, her mother moved closer to her on the sofa. I just meant she helped him, that's all." She searched Melody's eyes...wanting her to understand. that she wasn't comparing his wife with her.
Melody nodded. "Yes, I guess she did. He did go on and follow his dream about working as a doctor to find a cure for cancer."
"Sounds like the wild boy we once knew is a fine man now."
Melody nodded again. "Yes he has a young daughter, Sophia...she's five..so he's a father too." She turned away knowing that this too was a dream she had once had for herself...being the mother to Slade's children.
"So have you two talked yet? Her mother looked at her...I mean your both going to be working closely together aren't you?"
Melody nodded again. "Yes, once he gets back form France. That's where Gina was going to be buried...on her family's estate.
"How do you feel about all this Melody. I know how hurt you were, and now to see him after nine years."
Melody stood up and walked around the living room.
"How I feel is the least of my problems. She turned, facing her mother. Before Slade's wife died she asked me to look out for him and Sophia."
She raised her hand stopping her mother before she could say anything.
How am I to do that?" She walked back and sat down grabbing her mothers hands in hers. Tell me how am I suppose to do that?"
Her mother wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close.
" By forgiving him. You've always been in love with the boy...now try falling in love with the man ."
Melody pulled away shocked.
"Mother,"she said just staring at her. The woman who she thought hated Slade. Now she was encouraging her to go after him."
"I think you still love him, and always will but you're to stubborn and hurt to admit it."
Melody had heard that before by Slade's wife about her still loving him...now her own mother had jumped on the band wagon too!
"I was wrong about you two...I'm so sorry for that dear. She pulled Melody back into her arms. Don't let love pass you by now when God's given you another opportunity. It wasn't the right time for the two of you...I think now it is."
Melody pulled away again and got up, walking to the window and looked out.
"I know these are words you never thought you'd hear from me...but I don't want you to miss love with the man you've always dreamed of... and you know that man is, and always will be Slade Wilson. Right now he needs someone..he needs you. He's afraid...feeling alone. He needs someone to help him through this. You always said he was there for you even when your father and I didn't think so. Now don't you think it's time to do that for him...to be there? We can't tell you what to do now...you're a grown woman, but there is one thing more I will say dear. She walked close again, taking Melody's hands in hers. Always listen to the voice in here. She laid her hand on Melody's heart. Always listen to the voice in your heart."
Melody didn't answer, but she knew time was getting closer to Slades return from France and soon to the hospital. She had to decide how to handle it all, before his return.
What to do...the question Melody ponders as she waits for Slade's return! take a listen to the thoughts of her heart as she thinks about her mothers last words..."Listen to the voice in your heart" with this song.... "The Voice Within"
seemed to fly by. She had heard that Dr. Wilson would be returning
that morning, and that they should all be ready with questions to ask
him of their own particular interest. She had jotted down her
questions on a sheet of paper and left it on the coffee table along
with the others laying there . As she prepared to leave she noticed
the box of letters still out on the table. She had spent the better
part of the week reading through them and had neglected to put them
away. Quickly she grabbed her notes from off the table, folding them
and shoving them into her briefcases, then she collected the letters
and put them back in the shoe box and then under the other things in
her closet. She had prepared a note of welcome that was suggested by
the department head to all the doctors to do as well as a small
she folded the note. There was no need to read it again, and put it
in the envelope that was by the table, then stuck it in her pocket
where it would be easy to get to. It was decided that everyone would
hand their note to him personally as they left the conference room
for lunch break...then go to the dining hall where a welcome lunch
would be waiting for Dr. Wilson. Her note was simple and
short...just a welcome and a word of sympathy about his wife's death.
She hadn't decided about how to not sit to him...but then figured
that other doctors would probably handle that problem since so many
were anxious to speak personally with him.
room was totally filled with doctors, and nurses from her department
as well as from other floors. Most seats were filled and people we
standing along the walls like she was. When the doors open and Slade
walked in, everyone clapped, then quietly took there seats...at least
those who had a seat. Melody positioned herself against the wall by
one of the nurses from her floor.. It felt strange to here Slade
speak,s well as to see him living the dream he had so talked about
when they were young. He talked about the advances if research for
childhood cancer, the treatments that were available, and the work he
and his late wife had done in Paris France before coming back to the
states. She had to admit it was fascinating the many things he had
accomplished since she had known him all those years ago. She
watched as the crowd broke for lunch and people were walking up,
shaking his hand handing, as they gave him their cards of welcome and
condolences for his late wife. She had decided to just forget her's
until later when Connie the nurse next to her offered to take her's
up for her. Melody jumped at the offer knowing that it would delay
her meeting with him until later. She reached into her pocket and
quickly gave her the note to that contained her name on the front of
followed the rest of the crowd to the dining hall where everyone was
crowded around Slade asking questions. She thought it was the
perfect time to slip out and go back to her office without being
noticed and work on the schedule she'd be going over all week.
Sitting down she opened her briefcase and took the papers out going
through each one. There beside the schedule she'd been working on
was the empty envelope that had contained the letter she wrote to
Slade when she was in high school, confessing her love for him. It
was totally empty. She searched all through her briefcase, thinking
it had to be somewhere. She collapsed back onto her office chair.
She knew exactly where it was. She had mistakenly put it in the card
envelope that was now in Slade Wilson's hands!
up quickly she rushed to the dining hall...There were still some
lingering doctors and nurses talking but Slade was no where in sight.
She knew he would be reading them throughout the day when ever he
had some free time, and there was nothing at all she could do to stop
it. All she could do was hope he was a slow reader, or maybe not
read the cards at all. He'd probably gotten many cards and not read
them knowing exactly what they were about. She turned and started
to walk back to her office and stopped abruptly. There was Slade
standing at her office door with her boss. She slowed her steps but
knew it was useless..they were about to meet. She watched her boss
as he walked away and Slade look in her direction. He was holding
something in his hand...a card. She knew it was her card. She took
a deep breath. Her heart was racing wildly. Her mother told her to
listen to her heart. As her steps got closer to him it was like each
beat was saying his name over and over. There was no denying it...he
still affected her...she still loved him in spite of everything that
had happened. He needed her now. It was her turn, as her mother
had said to help him and his daughter. She stopped in front of him.
So this is love, she thought as she looked at him. With all its ups
and downs...but still worth the journey to be with the one you love.
read yours first, he said looking up into her eyes still holding the
smiled..”Hi, I'm Melody, It's nice here.....you'll like it . Then she walked closer to him and smiled again.
"You don't have to be afraid...I'll take care of you."
She saw his head lower, then he looked up. There were tears in his eyes. and she knew he was remembering their
first meeting when he said those exact words to her in first grade.
reached out and took her hand in his, and looked at her a
long moment. Time had torn them apart now it was bringing them back
together again. It wasn't the right time for them all those years ago...but it was now. Her mother was right..he was her one love...her only
love. She had listened to the voice within that said she still wanted him.
I think I will ,” he said finally, his eyes
still looking deeply into hers. And with those words they walked
into her office hand in hand, the door closing behind them.
Melody has learned to finally forgive or lose what she so desperately wants.. because of anger . She has learned that love means sacrifice, and most importantly to listen to her heart in all important matters. And that if something is meant to be...it will happen no matter how difficult the road may be.
Here's a song that says it well..."Listen To Your Heart"...as we all should !
Coming In December...
Another Romantic Story !
Bye For Now....Pastor Janet Fears!!
Your Romance Writer!